fuck if it’s this easy why do they close the goddamn road for like five months shit
all outta soub 😦
I work for the road crew in the summer. Crack sealing (the process you see above) is fairly quick and simple. (Though holding a hose that pumps literal tons of 350F tar into the road in the middle of the summer is NOT easy)
I think what a lot of people underestimate is just how much road there is in your city. And just how many directions the crew gets pulled.
For our city of around 50k people there are 8 of us.
Also, crack sealing is a wholly temporary measure, meant to slow the break-up of the roads, it’s not a permanent fix.
Roads tend to get closed for months on end because we have to tear the whole thing up, then, depending on the class of road, we either have to hammer-drill into concrete to lay rebar and the pour concrete, or we can get straight to paving. If it’s a road requiring concrete we’re required to wait at least 24 hours for it to set.
So after 2 days we’re finally able to pave. But the city allocates one (two if we’re lucky) 5 ton truck to transport material.
A relatively short paving job requires at a minimum of 60 tons. So that’s 12 trips to the asphalt factory and back. Each ton is around $80.
TL;DR
There’s a lot of road, not many of us, and soup is expensive.
Leave the soup men alone.
Leave the soup men alone, and go vote for people who will pay for more soup and more soup people
also next person to make some crack about how road workers are ‘always resting instead of working’ had better bring video of themselves doing heavy labor in the hot sun for 8 hours without letting anyone see them sit down.
so I’m in that finals week punch-drunk sweet spot where sleep deprivation, caffeine, and first-final-went-well all combine into a mind-altering state not unlike being high. I’m still functional enough to study, but whatever part of my brain that makes metaphors is definitely on the fritz. This morning I was trying to describe the 20-minute nap I got at the end of my pre-final all nighter, and the sentence I uttered was:
“I basically spiked my gray matter off the far side of a REM cycle, which was just enough to let the pathetic mass of neurons left behind after the caffeine brain blender get all the juicy law nuggets into some kind of order.”
To which my horrified classmate responded: “What.”
So in the interests of procrastinating on studying for a few minutes and entertaining internet strangers, here’s a few of the metaphors/similes/analogies/weird crap that has come out of my mouth in the last week. Not even I know what I meant with some of these. Please be merciful in your judging; I am so tired.
describing how pale I’ve gotten while living in a study room: “when i go makeup shopping i just go the palest end of the spectrum, past ‘ivory’ to ‘copy paper’ and then i grab the jar of mayonnaise next to that, because that’s how white i am right now.”
“ive become a half-reverse-vampire; i love garlic and i won’t come in your house if you invite me, but i still flee from sunlight and smell like death.”
“im ADHD as fuck dude. my brain is like seventeen squirrels on crack. if i can get them all pointed in one direction and focused on one thing, im basically unstoppable, but as soon as i get distracted, it’s a full on clown party in there.”
“as a general rule, i try not to consume any food item larger than my head, but given the current size of my ego and the amount of nonsensical court rules i’ve stuffed in there recently, im pretty sure my head’s twice the size it used to be. so we should probably order at least two more pizzas.”
things I just said:
“im like a raccoon when it comes to shiny new office supplies. i just have this unsuppressible urge to steal them in hopes that somehow they will imbue me with their motivational powers and i will become a more efficient person by consuming their tiny paperclip souls.”
regarding energy drinks: “it used to be that if you were in law school you would just get addicted to cocaine, but now all we have are these. i figure if i drink enough of them my heart’ll just pop like a balloon animal and i wont have to sit the final.”
“i can’t tell if my hands are shaking right now. look at them. are they? no? must just be my eyeballs then.”
watching my study buddy drink spicy V8 tomato juice right after finishing a frozen chocolate twix bar: “you’re an abomination against god. you’re the reason people think lawyers are evil.”
‘oh god, im choking to death on mountain dew. it’s okay, it’s how i would have wanted to go.’
me, pawing through the mess in my backpack: “where’s the fucking. glasses juice. contact solution. where’s the fucking contact solution.”
my friend: “how about instead of sitting this final i just hurl myself into traffic.” me: “good luck finding traffic around here at this time of night.”
“i’ve had enough coffee at this point that if i shake my head too hard, my teeth start falling out.”
“that’s it, you’ve got ten minutes until the deadline. Turn in your brief and die with your honor.”
greatest hits from the study table:
“how can you drink monster? that stuff is like toxic waste.” “my body is a landfill, so that’s perfect.”
a professor, to my friend: “Finals hitting hard?” “Sir, I’m about to start eating glass just so I can feel something again.”
“look, the only way I’m gonna remember this stuff is if we turn everything into a harry potter metaphor. now help me figure out what the ethical duty to obey court orders has to do with the Half-Blood Prince.”
“i’m running to the StabN’Grab for some caffiene, and if I’m lucky, somebody will murder me before I get back. see ya!”
“do you think that doing a handstand would help me remember stuff better? more blood would be in my brain.”
This guy in my class likes to think he’s the only one who knows about tumblr When a girl messed up her presentation he literally held up a drawn star that said ‘you tried’ and said to me “you probably won’t get it it’s an Internet thing.”
Today I got to go on one of our runs to more rural shelters to help relieve overcrowding there. We ended up bringing back 21 kittens and 10 dogs. So fun day. But this morning, while I was getting stuff together in preparation for the 90 minute drive…. This happened.
Excuse you Tiniest Opossum, but you are NOT allowed to escape through the front bars of the cat carrier we were housing you in. I’m going to put you back.
“NO!”
I am going to catch you and put you back and you have no say in this matter.
“NO!”
Catching you and putting you back now.
“NOOOOOO!”
Aaaand back you go. Let go of the purple towel and go in the cardboard box.
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